For compromising with me.
Even though you don’t like Japanese food, you don’t like soupy stuff, you don’t like the yong tau fu my M cooked, you don’t like vegetables, you don’t like walking, you don’t like to spend a lot on food, you don’t like me going to clubs… You still let me have my way. You still wanna eat Jap food with me, you still suck thumb and finished the yong tau fu(- a lot of vege), you still let me satisfy my cravings, you let me choose places to eat, you let me go and have fun (while worrying your ass off) and you let me pee all the time without judging me my bladder.
For taking care of me.
For always bringing umbrella out and sweater(everytime we watch movie) because I always carry small bags out. And today you were freezing your ass off but you still insisted that I wear it the whole time. And you’ve never complained how troublesome it is for you. For always sending me home, no matter how tired/late it is. For making sure I don’t zao geng by reminding me to stand at the inner side of the escalators. For making sure that I have enough time for everyone else important in my life. My grandparents(my twice a week routine), my sister(when she’s back in town), my friends(you always make sure that I know that I can reply you late when I’m out with them) For making sure that I don’t step into puddles and random holes.
My sis told me before, even if you’re together with the most perfect guy but he doesn’t try, there’s no point. You asked me once what turns me on, I said gentlemen(HAHAHA DO YOU RMB THAT?) You’re definitely working on it. Mini mini gestures like that allowing me to enter places first, ordering for me, letting me order first, paying for chalet stuff by your own initiative. In some ways, you’re already a great gentleman. I just can’t wait to see how age and experience will change and make you become a true blue gentleman.
For accepting my past.
I was a… I dated many boys. And some of them came back to haunt me. I’ve always felt overwhelming emotions when they remind me of the past. That’s because I’ve truly liked them at some point of time in my life. And they were truly nice to me. It just scares me because it made me realised that not everyone who treats you well will continue doing that forever and the promises and bullshit said probably didn’t mean anything to them in the first place. And whenever they decide to come back and remind me of the past, I was always afraid that I don’t know how to love someone right because it always reminded me that I’ve never actually fell in love with anyone before. I’d rather be alone than hurt anyone you know? Especially you. That’s what I meant by raw I guess. Overwhelmed with emotions. Helpless. Lost.
I told you so many times I just don’t know how you do it. I myself know that I’m not easy to be around with. I’m so unstable, my memory sucks, I can be thoughtless and insensitive sometimes, I can be quite spoilt, I can be unreadable, I left and you allowed me to come back. I don’t ever want to leave this, no matter what happens.
I know there are some stuff I left out, but I just want to type this all down so that whenever things get hard in future, I can look back at all these posts and know that I have reasons to fight for you, for us. Like how you’ve never stopped. Or whenever I need a smile or need an assurance, I can just read all these posts and get a warm tingly sensation without downing shots(: