I Want To Stop Caring

by Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog

I was popular in high school. I was one of the captains of the girl’s soccer team, I was a cheerleader for three years, and I ended up as a finalist in the Homecoming Court. I never had trouble getting attention from boys or getting compliments from other students. I woke up 90 minutes before the start of my first class every day to make sure my hair was perfectly straightened, my outfit was perfectly matched, and that my makeup was perfectly applied. I tried everything to be perfectly perfect.

Ever since I can remember I have been a complete hardass on myself. I lack self-esteem in almost every area of my life from looks to grades to personality. I don’t think I’m good enough for myself or for other people, so I naturally transformed into an annoying perfectionist. I put an overwhelming amount of pressure on myself to get…

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